House MD

Since I’ve been watching House MD recently like it’s going out of fashion, I think my brain may have gone into analytical overdrive. Today whilst cycling home in the rain (go Netherlands!) I realised that I caused quite an interesting traffic situation – I hindered the progress of a car that was travelling in front of me. ‘What?’ I hear you ask, ‘How can that be? You were behind the car, and you were hindering its progress?’ Sounding like a House episode yet?

It immediately also occurred to me that I should blog about this, ergo this post. That realisation was accompanied by the fact that I would probably need a diagram to explain exactly what happened (they do that on House too). However, since I’ve determined that I’m significantly underperforming in my professional life, I thought my brain could use the challenge of trying to explain it without the use of a diagram (ergo the lack of diagram). But if you all agree to concentrate and do your best, then I’m sure this post will be a challenge, and hence beneficial, to all of us. Ready? Here we go…

Cycling as happily as I could in the rain behind car A (on the right side of the road – this is Europe), we approached a 4-way intersection. Then car A stopped, half of it having crossed the intersection, and the back half still sticking back into the intersection, half-blocking the road. I had stopped behind it, and was therefore standing in the middle of the intersection, blocking the transverse street. So far so good.

But why had car A stopped? Well, there were parked cars on the other side of the intersection, which car A needed to move to the left to avoid. Unfortunately, oncoming car B was on the left-hand side of the road and not moving, so car A could not advance.

Which brings us to why oncoming car B had stopped. Well, it was stuck behind oncoming car C, which had waited for car A to pass before it could make a left-hand turn into the transverse street. But of course it could not do the turn that it had planned to make, because, yes siree, I was now blocking the intersection! And since car A in front of me couldn’t advance because of car B, and car B was stuck because of car C, and car C was stuck because of me, we had a very nice little paradox on our hands for a moment there.

So what happened? Well, I enjoyed the paradox for a while, and then did what all cyclists in the Netherlands do in a tricky situation – I dematerialised in a puff of smoke. Oh no wait, cyclists aren’t actually that expendable, everyone just thinks they are. No, I just moved over a bit and let car C pass, then everything was hunky-dory.

For a moment though, the complaining, I-know-my-rights Dutch part of me did consider getting out my mobile and calling the Queen, to tell her that the government needed to completely rewrite the urban planning regulations because they shouldn’t allow paradoxes. But the really pragmatic Dutch part of me said that that would be such a laborious process and I’d be standing in the rain too long, and I would get home faster if I just moved over.


7 Responses to “House MD”

  1. 26 October, 2008 at 11:53 pm

    oh my gosh, my medewerkers would LOVE to rant about this crass injustice to cyclists with you!

  2. 3 Jonna
    27 October, 2008 at 3:53 pm

    I’m sure this would’ve looked really nice in a dynamic diagram! You could add a few extra lines for alternatives (moving backwards, to the left, to the rigth etc.).

  3. 28 October, 2008 at 1:01 am

    time to challenge australia, it seems to me my friend.

  4. 5 pom
    28 October, 2008 at 1:45 am

    There’s another situation that never fails to amaze me (or rather, the fact that it never actually causes all traffic to stop): if I’m cycling or whatever and someone (A) coming from the opposite direction wants to make a left turn, s/he has to wait for me. But if someone (B) is coming from that street (on my right), I have to wait. And B has to yield the right of way to A – so nobody’s moving.

  5. 6 adinda
    28 October, 2008 at 6:49 pm

    Hilarious. And I love the phrase ‘hunky-dory’.

  6. 2 November, 2008 at 12:50 am

    although your accent doesn’t fool me, your bike ride through the rain and adequate analysis of what any Dutch person would think and do in such a paradoxical situation convinces me. but i really don’t like the conclusion. can’t you stay until new year’s?

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