Yesterday I did a search on YouTube for animations of geometric dissections, my nerdy mathematical hobby. Of course there weren’t any to be found, but the search results did include a number of videos on autopsy, and me being the hopelessly curious person I am, I took the trouble to click through all the age verification checks and watch the autopsy videos.

Man, that was disgusting.

Those autopsy scenes in CSI where you have a rather banged-up, dishevelled and possibly discoloured (but otherwise completely intact) corpse lying on the bench and a well-spoken and considerate coroner who gently prods with delicate instruments looking for possible minute clues to abuse could not be more misleading. On YouTube there were bolt-cutters, pliers, a circular saw and knives of varying size and shape, which all left very little in their wake that was even reminiscent of anything resembling a corpse. They just cut that sucker up.

Surprisingly, the voiceover nevertheless said that the technique used still retained the possibility for an open-casket funeral, should the individual’s family desire. I fail to understand how this is possible.

All I can say is: I really hope I don’t die a suspicious death.